I've been sitting in the dark down in my room for 25 minutes, and I've had my laptop's glow to keep me company for the past five.

I'm slowly realsing what is wrong. This may sound trivial and obvious but I am lonely. It's partly the fact that I haven't been with anyone for close to a year now, partly that anything I do with anyone feels hollow and also because (cliché alert) I miss my friends.

I never realised how much I actually relied on them. I haven't seen anyone since before Christmas, which doesn't seem to be that long does it? I haven't seen a college friend in 190 hours, to be more precise. Yeah, lame.

Ok, I know that this is all very woe is me and oh such drama but even if you stop reading now, I'll read this again one day when I feel like crap and know that I've felt worse, if you follow my drift.

Anyway, so I've been at this entry for 30 minutes now, and I've written three times as much as there is down here, because I keep deleting things. I shouldn't. I shouldn't give a rat's ass what anyone that reads this thinks about it. But I do. C'est la vie.

You know, even though I always make a big deal out of this problem and let's face it, it's not the first time I've said all this, I'm probably never going to go out of my way to try and find a solution, because I have a fear that I know a lot of other people have, and that's being given the big thumbs down.

I think that some people are so blind to what they've got. Maybe I'm one of them. I'll need someone on the outside of me to let me know.

I think that for me, since college started, everything has changed, and everything has stayed the same.

Peace out

Farmboy
Thought for the day:
I'm no Superman